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Tuesday, August 31, 2004
Conversation with Mike McKenzie
Tongue in cheek
by Mark Lawrence
I was just talking to Mike on the phone, I'm like all, "Dude, when are you going to report?" He's like "Why should I? They're all a bunch of jerks." So I'm like "Man, they're talking superbowl, you know, the rings, the NFL bonuses that don't count against the salary cap, 'sides, all the guys at PackerChatters are like totally for it!"
He's like all "No Shit! The guys at Chatters are for it? All of them?" So I'm like "Well, there's a few wackos, there always are, but Larry, Patty, Sarahfar, Towanda, you know, all the big names are all like Ok, Mike, you've like made your point, we all know Sherman was very dick-like to you, but now Are You Ready For Some Football?" He was like choking up, I mean, like seriously, he's all like "You guys *really* understand? Like Sherman, he like *totally* dissed me, I was all like, dude, chill, we cannot work like this, where's the love, where's the respect?, and he's like all Just get your stoopid lazy butt in here."
Mike is like laying on me, "I was like soooo pissed. Really, I was like, screw it, I'm just going to get a real job, I could be a vice-president or something, make like $250k / year to start, ok, that's minor money but if you're starting out new you gotta go for the bottom rung, you know? Besides, I can get a like performance clause or something, I dunno, how do you guys handle this? What is the Vice-President pro bowl? Is it like on cable news or something? But, really, the guys at PackerChatters are behind me? (sniff) I'm touched. I mean, like, really, that goes right to the heart."
So I'm like, "Yah, we know, like Mike is tight, as in tight ass, but still there's like Darren and Brett and all the dudes and you're like Letting Them Down" and he's like all choked up, and he Swears to me, like really, like on the bible, like on his mother's honor, he's coming Right in. Thursday, maybe Friday if there's a problem getting the cheap fare.
Mike, he's my guy. He would not lie to me. So, I can tell you square up, he's our man, he will show. Thursday. Friday if he can't get the good Southwest rate to Midway. Money's a little tight in Tennessee these days, you know, the $5000 / day fine and all.
Thanks for asking, 'cause, y'know, this entire conversation had completely slipped my mind. Until you brought it up. It just didn't seem like all that big a deal to me.